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First , ask yourself why did he choose to make your day over
coffee and juice at 7 AM in the morning? Was he mad over something the night
before? Maybe you didn't let him stay out all night at a late party. Why is he
suddenly going to throw the notion of college out the door? If you decide that
it's possibly a rebellion thing, it might be a good thing to just ignore it
altogether. He is throwing a tantrum and you could make it worse by meeting up
to his challenge.
If you decide that his sudden "confession" is not one of retaliation or
rebellion, find out why he doesn't want to go to college. Take time to hear
what he is saying and make sure he knows that you hear him by saying , "If I
hear you correctly, you're telling me that because Stanford is over 1000 miles
away……" If your child was first looking at colleges relatively far
from home, it may not be an issue of going to college, it may just be an issue
of going too far from home. That is something, as a parent, you can live with
and work on.
If your child has lost all ambition to go to college, find
out why. Is it because he doesn't think he can make it in College Courses or is
it that he doesn't have any idea of what to do with his life or what he wants
to pursue? Once you find out the why it is easier to try to fix the problem.
Understand, however, there may not be a "why" at all. Lack of ambition or
involvement with drugs, alcohol, friends, girlfriends, and many other
influences can weigh heavy on a child's decision not to proceed with an
education.
How you choose to handle the problem is entirely up to you,
but use kid gloves. This may be a life-changing moment for your child. The sad
thing is that the decision he makes in regards to his education will follow him
for the rest of his life.
If your child hangs tough with the decision
not to attend college, here is what you need to do:
Type up 2 formal
documents and print them off for your child to look over with you. One document
will be comparable to a rent agreement, and the other a loan.
If your
child decides to pass on college, he needs to know that he can live at home but
you expect him to pay rent. If he would prefer to live on his own, you will go
with him to find an apartment and get him set up in his own place with
everything he needs to survive on his own until his first paycheck comes in
from the job that he is going to get . After two months, he can start paying
you back this money.
Since college isn't on his agenda, it's time he
were able to start doing things for himself. He is now on his own. |
