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Playing it Safe
Online
by Linda Alexander, Esq.
• Before You Meet
•
First Date Know-How
The Internet has become the hot
new place for smart, eligible people to find romance, and those looking for
love are swarming into cyberspace. As a result, many individuals have begun
relationships online with people they have not met and know little about.
With so many people communicating via the Net
and deciding to date virtual strangers, it is important to be safe and be
smart. Common sense can go a long way to keep you safe. Here are some
guidelines for playing it safe:
Watch out for
someone who seems too good to be true.
Begin by
first communicating solely by email or online chat. Be vigilant in noticing odd
behavior or inconsistencies. If someone is evasive, this is a red flag.
"Listen" to your correspondent's words. The person at the other end may not be
who or what he/she says. Trust your instincts. If anything makes you
uncomfortable, walk away for your own safety and protection.
Find out as much information as you can.
Learn to ask many
questions. Find out where he grew up, where she works, and how he is connected
to his community. These are clues to finding out who this person really is. Be
suspicious, if someone is unwilling to reveal any personal identifying
information. Probe any discrepancies in their stories. If your correspondent is
unwilling to answer your questions, this is another red flag. Continue with a
great deal of caution.
Honesty is the key to
success.
Represent yourself accurately. Exaggerating or deceiving
is easy online. Areas to be particularly cautious about are marital status and
physical appearance. Begin with a request for a picture and send them a recent
one of you. If someone is unwilling to send a recent photo, this is warning
sign. If he or she continuously comes up with an excuse, it is because that
person has something to hide. Having a scanned photo is available at Kinko's
for less than ten dollars, so there is no valid excuse for not doing it. After
you have exchanged photos, continue to fill in the gaps, so that the other
person does not create you in their image. Keep it honest.
Talk on the telephone and continue to learn more about
your correspondent.
A phone call can reveal a lot about a
person's communication and social skills. It is worth the cost of the call to
protect your security. But do not give out your phone number to a stranger.
Trust takes time to develop. Only when you feel completely comfortable should
you furnish your phone number.
Don't rush into
anything.
Meeting someone online and then arranging a date in a
relatively short time can be dangerous. Take time to find out who this person
really is. If someone is pressuring you to get together before you are ready,
this is another warning sign. If anything feels strange as you get to know this
person, then it is time to back away and look for another match.
If you decide to meet for a date, proceed with caution.
Arrange the meeting on your terms. The following is a guide to ensure that you
have a safe encounter:
Before You Meet
Before you go out with someone new, it is important to get as much information
as you can about the person you will meet.
1. Always ask for a
full name, address, and telephone number before agreeing to go out with someone
you have never met.
2. Never go out with someone who will
only give you a pager or work phone number. (There is a very good chance of a
spouse in the house.)
3. When someone gives his or her
phone number, find a reason to call unexpectedly. This may help you to find out
if she is married or he is living with someone.
4. Find
out where the person works and if you can call him or her at work
First Date Know-How
Be careful when agreeing to meet
anyone in person.
Set the conditions for your date and do
not let the other person change them. Remember, you really do not know someone
until you spend time with them in person.
1. Always
tell someone where you are going with your date and when you will return. Leave
your date's full name and telephone numbers with that person and write it down.
For a small fee, you can leave information regarding where you are going and
all the pertinent details with a service called SmartDate at
http://www.smartdate.com. If your date wants you to keep it secret, this is a
very big red flag. Protect yourself.
2. Always meet in a
public place that you are familiar with on your first date. Stay near other
people in a lighted area. Getting together for coffee is a pleasant, casual way
to get to know someone.
3. Never allow yourself to be
picked up from your house. Giving your address out to a stranger is not safe.
Arrange your own transportation so that you can leave if there is any sign of
trouble.
4. Pay attention to everything that this
person has told you about him or herself. If you find out that your date has
lied about anything, this is another red flag.
5. Do
not bring your date back to your house after the first meeting. You do not know
this person. Use the same kind of common sense and rules that you would use in
any type of dating relationship.
Be smart and be
safe. Take control of your future. Know what you are getting into before you
invest your heart, money, or your life. Information is the key.
Linda Alexander, Esq. is president of WhoisHe.Com and WhoisShe.Com, a
professional service that provides (for a small fee) a personal profile and
background check on your cyber-date or potential mate. WhoisHe.Com furnishes
the most current public record information, usually within twenty-four hours of
your request. WhoisHe.Com has helped thousands of people discover the truth
about the people they are meeting both online and off. For additional
information about this service call 800/503-3756 or send email to
CheckHimOut@WhoisHe.Com or CheckHerOut@WhoisShe.Com.
Mix 'n
Match Copyright (c) 1999 OneandOnly.com Inc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Now that you've got some safety tips, be bold.
Try
Match.com free for 3 days! and meet that someone special!
|
 Dating
Advice for Guys
from Doc Love - Success Coach
For the past
thirty years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man
versus another?"
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